Someone has stolen all the postmen in Leamington Spa.
We haven’t had ANY post since Thursday last week. Except parcels (thanks fj_warren it arrived today we will open them tomorrow ;-)). This means I had 7 cards (two of them were hand delivered so don’t count) for my Birthday and a measly pittance of cards for Christmas. I suspect the reason why is that there is a secret plot by a terrorist cell to prevent the delivery of mail to hard working Christmas season Birthday celebrating men and women in the West Midlands. Worse, I saw one of the postmen today being kidnapped by a man in a white van this morning as they cruised around Santa Claus Road admiring the snow covered pavements outside the Gnomecake Apartments.
I’m surprised the police haven’t gotten involved, but then I’ve not seen any policemen recently either. I fear they too have been stolen.
I think it’s about time we got some private companies in to ensure that postmen don’t get stolen by errant terrorists. And some nice private security guards to make sure they get about their business unhindered by criminal snow.
Of course, it is good to see that the vast amounts of council tax paid to Warwickshire Council goes to useful things like parties for dignatories, trips to twin towns and more income for councillors rather than be frittered away on useless efforts of clearing the snow off pavements in back streets.