What’s gone on?

  • Following on from this series

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  • Free

    Free

    For those who don’t read my Livejournal, those who have only just noticed I’ve not liked or posted on Facebook recently and those who just don’t give a stuff, on 30th January I logged out of Facebook. I went up to the little icon in the right of my Facebook page clicked and then clicked

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  • Open Letter to Sticky Toffee Pudding (with Hot Custard)

    Dear Sticky Toffee Pudding with Hot Custard, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I can’t eat you at the moment. You’ve been calling me for two weeks now. Quiet at first. Almost a whisper. Maybe once a day. Now you’re calling me every hour. Sometimes several times an hour. Unfortunately, we can never be as one.

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  • I Love EU

     

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  • Or so said Darth to Luke. Presents are a funny old game. Not being someone to want to appear ungrateful, normally I’ll smile and thank who ever got me what ever and appear interested or passionate about what ever they have got me. I think, generally, it is possible to classify presents into ten categories.

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  • Christmas Poem

    Who’s is that? It’s not mine Who’s is this That’ll do fine Presents are passed Around the room The defrosted turkey Senses its doom The family sat round All festive with cheer Our Chris got five pound! All I got was beer And in the kitchen Mother doth toil The Christmas dinner She hopes not

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  • Films

    According to a recent email, my films on Vimeo have had over 1000 plays. Sadly it appears that the most puerile one, My Neighbours Cock (2008), has had 90% of those views while others have only had a couple. A great shame. https://vimeo.com/stegzy/videos

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  • Autumn – a poem by Stegzy Gnomepants aged 41 5/6ths

    Autumn is here The leaves leave  The nursery of branches aloft Free at last Falling gracefully to the earth There to become part of history Or swept and burnt To become free again Airbourne in spirit Their fragrance warming Making memories Their brothers forming Mountains to walk through Kicking skyward feebly Fruit abundant falling Feeding

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  • Comprehension

    Comprehension

    What do you say when you don’t understand someone? “Pardon?”, “What?”, “Please can you repeat that?” or do you grunt non-committedly and hope your vocalisation is interpreted as the appropriate response? Maybe you contort your face into a half smile, the kind of facial expression that could be interpreted as a smile but can equally

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  • Gawping

    Gawping

    Do you gawp? Gawping is rampant in the UK. It’s everywhere. It’s like a disease. Gawping is something that needs to be stamped out before it gets out of control. What is gawping? Gawping, or gopping, comes from the verb to gawp; a gopper or gawper is someone that gawps. In my experience you find

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