Whizzed from sm00bs

  • Age: 34
  • Where did you grow up: Liverpool, UK
  • WHAT DO YOU CALL:
  1. A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks.
    A stream if it’s moving. A pond if it’s still or a puddle if it’s in the middle of the road.
  2. What the thing you push around the grocery store is called?
    Shopping trolley. Pensioner. Coffin.
  3. A metal container to carry a meal in.
    Err…metal food container (?!)…can…metal box…fuckme.
  4. The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in.
    A frying pan
  5. The piece of furniture that seats three people.
    Sofa or Settee if I’m being posh
  6. The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof.
    Automated Roof Rain carrier offer. Or gutter.
  7. The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening.
    The pub? Kids round here seem to sit outside in a Bus Shelter. Though I suspect the meme means Patio.
  8. Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages.
    Pop
  9. A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup.
    Pancake. Pizza.
  10. A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself.
    Big fat bastard sandwich.
  11. The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach.
    Trunks or in billzy‘s case – Dirty rain coat.
  12. Shoes worn for sports.
    Depends where I am, if I’m in Liverpool it’s trainees lah if I’m anywhere else it’s trainers
  13. Putting a room in order.
    Tidy up.
  14. A flying insect that glows in the dark.
    Mutant radioactive moth
  15. The little insect that curls up into a ball.
    Tired. Dead.
  16. The children’s playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down.
    A see-saw
  17. How do you eat your pizza?
    Through a special aperture in the back of my neck.
    .
  18. What’s it called when private citizens put up signs and sell their used stuff?
    “Oh look they’ve gone away and the gypsies have broken into their house”
  19. What’s the evening meal?
    Tea
  20. The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are?
    Hell/Hades/Volcano (I suspect you mean cellar)
  21. What do you call the thing that you can get water out of to drink in public places?
    A puddle
    .
  22. Do the words pen and pin sound the same or different?
    What sort of question is that? Of course they sound different or they’d be the same fucking word!
  23. When addressing a group of people, what phrase do you use?
    Formal – Ladies and Gentlemen
    Informal – Oi yooz / eh you lot/ bunch of  twats.
  24. Does the vowel sound in the word pinch sound more like the sound in thin or mean?
    thin
  25. What is the name of a large window in the side of a house that can be opened for entry/exit?
    Broken
  26. What do you call the machine in the kitchen that keeps food cold?
    Smithsons Patented Steam Food colderiser
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tagged by billzy (tart)

yadda yadda tagged. blah blah tag people. yadda yadda if you can be arsed

1. You have 50 dollars in your pocket what do you do with it?
Change it to quids then blow it on fags and beer.

2. What is your most guilty pleasure?
That would be telling

3. Have you ever seen someone die?
Only on TV

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
No

5. Where do you see yourself in five years?
Making documentaries for the BBC

6. Name a personal hero.
Isambard Kingdom Brunell

7. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?
Nah, wasted too many years of my youth waiting for Laura to change her mind

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
That would be telling

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
The farts I’ve been making recently are very stinky

10. What do you want most in life?
To not have to work

11. Which of the 7 Deadly Sins do you think you relate to the most & why?
Lust – Who doesn’t?

12. If you find out that your best friend is going out with your boyfriend/girlfriend, how would you react?
Wish them best of luck

13. Who is currently the most important person to you?
That would be telling

14. What kind of person do you think you are?
Farty, scruffy, generously hearted

15. Do you believe there is nothing higher than human kind?
The birds on my chimney. They’re pretty high up.

16. Do you ever regret doing something and then have been to ashamed to blog about it – not even on a filter or private.
No

17. Would you give your all in a relationship?
I do my best.

18. Do you have a motto? If yes which one?
Felix qui potuit rarum cognoscere causas

19. What type of friends do you like?
Ones that listen.

20. Do you have an all time favorite song?
Yes too many