Fingz I dun two day

This morning I was overjoyed at the prospect that I wouldn’t have to navigate to Rugby having been told on Friday that I should go to LemSpa. On arrival at the Leamington Spa campus I was greeted not by smiles but by glowers and “What the fuck are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in Rugby” said in the tone of “Are you a fucking idiot?” to which I replied “I was told to come here today” in the tone of “If you’re fucking me about I will stab you in the eyes and suck out your liver through your nose”. The resulting response of “You’ll have to go to Rugby” said in the tone of “Not only am I a fuckwit manager but my manager is a bigger fuckwit” received a “You’re fucking joking” (exclaimed in the style of someone not amused in the slightest) which in turn received a “No I’m not” in the tone of someone telling you you’re favourite cat has died in an accident with a blender in a microwave.

So it was Rugby this morning. I said “If I wasn’t so hard up I might be mildly amused” with a look of “Piss me about again and I will eat your children using your legs and arms as cutlery” to the big boss.

Typically in education there are far too many managers. Not only do I have a boss, but I also have a small boss, a big boss and a gargantuan boss all doing their best to ensure that every member of staff is micromanaged to ensure that their jobs are seen as valid. 2 months and counting….

Moreover, today was a case of arse wiping, putting up with teachers who seriously should know better and counting things. Mostly computers. For example:

Gnomepants, Go to room 112 and count how many computers there are, small boss

So I went and counted.

Small boss, There are 19 computers in room 112, Gnomepants

Five minutes passed

Gnomepants, go to rooom 113 and count how many computers there are, Small boss

this carried on for most of the day. Walking to the far reaches of the college to count computers which, I realised, small boss could quite easily have looked up on the asset database herself.

By 2pm I replied

FUCK OFF

My finger hovered over the send button. Unfortunately I slipped and clicked on the delete button instead. FML

Two months to go….

Goodbye Santor

This afternoon I packed the last few items into the van and waved goodbye to Santor aka Gnomepants Manor.

It was sad to see it retreating into the distance through the wing mirrors and slightly weird to watch familiar sights of Brierley pass by for the last time. Weird because when I moved there, I felt unwelcome, lonely and out of place. As I left, I felt sad because there was so much I could have done and yet so much that I could not have done had I stayed. At least I stand to get £13,000 as my share of the sale. Clair invited me in to say goodbye to the cats but as I was with my dad I didn’t want to keep him waiting and I didn’t want to feel sad that I probably won’t see Yoda or Mrs Mop again.

So as I left Yorkshire, for possibly the last time, and into the North West the clouds burst and in some twisted bit of serendipity, it pissed it down with rain.

So much has happened since 2006, so much is still to happen. I just hope that 2010 gets better for all of us.

Stupid

*Her *- I have all these weird emails in my inbox. I think I might be
infected. There’s about 50 of them. I daren’t open them
*Me* – Ok I’ll come and investigate
*One long walk to the other end of the college later
**Her *- Look!
*Me *- *Observing large collection of emails in Inbox* Ok, I’ll just open
one to see what it is. Cover your eyes incase it is obscene.
*Her* – *Covering eyes* What are they?
*Me* – *Reading *They appear to be pictures….of documents…”Guidance
notes for Psychology students”
*Her* – Oh that’s all the pages I asked reprographics to email me yesterday.
*Me* – You spaz.

Geocaching 2010

So this weekend saw the start of the Geocaching season for me. Ok, technically it was a few weeks ago when I went mooching round Wooley Edge and bagged two caches while trying out new software. Zoe and I decided to start out with some easy ones to get us back into the swing of things.

The first trip took us to a disused railway bridge out at Hunningham near Leamington Spa. As I say, it’s been a while but it’s the little things like spotting good places to park, working out that the direct path is not always the best and if at first you can’t find the cache – look in the most obvious place.

So on getting there it became apparent that there was no easy way to get up to where I needed to be. Short of taking a good 4 mile walk to get to the cache the only other option was to scramble through undergrowth and up some rubble.

Further adventures were had trying to navigate a field of potatoes. We could either take the direct path across the crops or round the edge of the field adding about 30 minutes onto the trip. The crops were safe as we opted for the indirect approach which, fortunately, took in another cache on the way.

The glorious sunshine which graced the midlands today meant that rather than the usual slobbing out on the couch, Zoe and I would do some more geocaching. Today’s trip reminded me of why I really enjoy the hobby.

The UK is a beautiful picturesque land. There’s so much to see but often we ignore places because, on maps, there doesn’t seem to be anything there.

However Geocaching takes you to some of the most interesting places that you wouldn’t ordinarily visit.  So today’s trip took us to the lovely sleepy village of Weston Under Wetherley.

I mean look at it. It’s just gorgeous. Makes you feel British. I can just imagine poncing about the place in my blazer with service medals and being called Major or something. So this has reignited the desire to mooch about the countryside looking for bits of concealed tupperware while armed only with my HTC HD2.

Anyway, the glorious weather seems to have awoken other cachers as the travel bug – the Stegzy Gnomepants’ Badger’s Coastal Tour Travel Bug has also been on the move. So it seems the season has begun, work permitting, I intend to do many more caches this year. Maybe actually getting to places outside of the West Midlands and Yorkshire. 

And yet I still find myself wishing there was something like this when I was younger….

>Geocaching 2010

So this weekend saw the start of the Geocaching season for me. Ok, technically it was a few weeks ago when I went mooching round Wooley Edge and bagged two caches while trying out new software. Zoe and I decided to start out with some easy ones to get us back into the swing of things.

The first trip took us to a disused railway bridge out at Hunningham near Leamington Spa. As I say, it’s been a while but it’s the little things like spotting good places to park, working out that the direct path is not always the best and if at first you can’t find the cache – look in the most obvious place.

So on getting there it became apparent that there was no easy way to get up to where I needed to be. Short of taking a good 4 mile walk to get to the cache the only other option was to scramble through undergrowth and up some rubble.

Further adventures were had trying to navigate a field of potatoes. We could either take the direct path across the crops or round the edge of the field adding about 30 minutes onto the trip. The crops were safe as we opted for the indirect approach which, fortunately, took in another cache on the way.

The glorious sunshine which graced the midlands today meant that rather than the usual slobbing out on the couch, Zoe and I would do some more geocaching. Today’s trip reminded me of why I really enjoy the hobby.

The UK is a beautiful picturesque land. There’s so much to see but often we ignore places because, on maps, there doesn’t seem to be anything there.

However Geocaching takes you to some of the most interesting places that you wouldn’t ordinarily visit.  So today’s trip took us to the lovely sleepy village of Weston Under Wetherley.

I mean look at it. It’s just gorgeous. Makes you feel British. I can just imagine poncing about the place in my blazer with service medals and being called Major or something. So this has reignited the desire to mooch about the countryside looking for bits of concealed tupperware while armed only with my HTC HD2.

Anyway, the glorious weather seems to have awoken other cachers as the travel bug – the Stegzy Gnomepants’ Badger’s Coastal Tour Travel Bug has also been on the move. So it seems the season has begun, work permitting, I intend to do many more caches this year. Maybe actually getting to places outside of the West Midlands and Yorkshire.

And yet I still find myself wishing there was something like this when I was younger….

Weekend

Took myself away this weekend as respite from the awful exam.

While away I resisted the urge for Chineefoo and yummies but not for geocaching. Found a few caches, saw the Rollright stones which are obviously a former kraal for cattle, bits of which have been moved about by some ancient errant farmer in days past. None of that floaty vagina bollocks here I’m sorry. Yeah I get stone henge and I get other ancient monuments but sorry, to me I just don’t get the same vibe with the Rollrights. Call me cynical, call me misguided, but to me they are nothing more than the remains of a former cattle haven. Or maybe a barrow that never got finished. We’ll never know.

Fortune for choosing the right weekend to go away did not become apparent until this afternoon. After a day in the rain walking round shops trying to convince the owners that the Civic was open, I took myself into Uni with the intent to do some CV writing and job searching. Alas this was not to be. I was greeted by an awful stench and three whopping great industrial vacuum cleaners, of the type that suck up water.

It transpires that on Friday the skeleton staff were shocked to notice that little pools of water were forming in the carpet. As they were flapping and wondering what to do the pools became ponds and the ponds became a giant lake.

 

Shiney Carpet!

 

 

Wet books!
Damp

 

 

 

Wet wet wet

Glad I was off. It would have been a very soggy Friday.

Car goes in for an MOT tomorrow. I have no money. I need a job. No change there. Or, for that matter, down the side of the couch.

Exam

Exam was tough, went well for the most part I think but then I always go to pieces in exams. I never seem to remember anything.

Weekend was lovely. Nice walks in the May sunshine looking at the hawthorn in full bloom and the nice cooling breeze making what probably would have made the outdoors horridly hot and sweaty into a beautiful English spring day.

Seeing lots of big houses in the middle of nowhere strikes me with the same question it always does. What is it that the people that live in them actually do for a living? I mean Warwickshire is not exactly renown for its bustling cities (The nearest “big” city is Coventry and that is actually in the West Midlands county. There are few big employers locally and they can’t all be shop keepers and post mistresses.

It’s interesting looking at North Warwickshire as a whole. Agriculturally there are loads of farms but very few farm shops. The villages that have shops appear to be commuter dormitories with very little in the way of sustainable businesses. There are pubs in the middle of nowhere which seem to do a roaring trade in food but wet sales, I imagine, don’t amount to much. Even village shops seem to be in low supply, the people that live in these villages seem to prefer to travel the 20 mile round trip to their local supermarket than to shop local and post offices seem to also be in low supply. Is this what country life has become? Shops and pubs now converted into luxury country retreats for those with “specialist” jobs?

I think I might have the subject of the documentary for my third year here…….

In other news I some how appear to have volunteered myself to help the local Arts Centre here in Barnsley promote itself. My time though is at a premium so it is likely that such work will be brief. The clock is ticking. It doesn’t appear that people are racing. Now is the time not to become complacent. Time to be proactive. After getting my Warcraft characters up a level.

Knob

Recently I’ve been very tired. Tiredness is never a good sign for me. I’ve been sleeping very well. Like a log for example. Even down to the beetles crawling over me and the fungus growing in my crevices.

This weekend I had a jolly good time visiting zoefruitcake where we watched DVD’s (including Wickerman, Wild Things, Legend of Fong Sai Yuck, the squeem enducing Audition and the epic Exterminator) and ate yumtastic chinese food. We even had a visit to a local farm shop, Hill Top Farm, which, I am sorry to say, didn’t meet my expectations.

It seems there are two camps of farm shoppery. Those that truely believe in the “Local is good and should be affordable” and those that follow the “Our average customer is a trendy Guardian reader so we can hike our prices to ridiculous heights thus fleecing the customer and doing the Local is good thing more damage than a whole parade of supermarkets”. Sadly the latter is becoming more and more prevalent. The former, hard to find.

You can tell a trendy farmshop by the feel inside. If you feel like you’re in a trendy deli, then it’s likely you’re in a rip-off shop. Though I am open to persuasion that this is not the case. Its sad that there are some farm shops that see the need to hike their prices through the roof because of their clientele. Like wise it is sad to see farmshops just selling the same expensive independently produced posh shite that you can get up and down the country in any farm shop. To me, a successful farmshop should be no nonsense with a butchers, maybe selling some local jams and honeys, possibly some bread and some fruit and veg at low prices. Not artificially inflated “Oooh we can make loads selling chicken like this cos they’ll pay it unquestionably”. So yes, Hill Top Farm will have a muckybadger review in the near future. I will make sure I highlight the £6.50 for two non-free range chicken breasts in a suspicious sauce sold in vaccuum sealed packets as I will no doubt point out the crappy sausages (75% meat?! I expect at least 80%) and the E numbers in the ingredients.

So yeah, I’m tired. It doesn’t help that I’m in work until 8pm tonight. Nor does it help that I have an early start in the morning. Bed early for me I thinkz.