A spine

If you come and ask me how to do something then proceed to tell me I’m doing it the wrong way, don’t be surprised if I am rude to you. Honestly, I’m not here to press buttons for you and I’m certainly not here for you to get pissy with me because you’re too damn particular about how things work. Besides which photocopying from books is an art form. I was photocopying from books when you were a wink and a nudge on the dance floor of some shitty nightclub in Leeds.

Student Can you show me how to photocopy this?
stegzy Sure, you put it on the screen like that, set the size and press the green button
Student No thats not what I want. I want that side only **turns book round**
stegzy Well by setting it up like this **Orientates book correctly** you’ll….
Student Well no I want it like this **turns book round**
stegzy Losing patience Go on then you show me how you would do it
Student Well I put it on the screen like this then set the settings like that and then press the green button
Photocopier spits out unusable enlarged image of book page
Student No thats not what I want
stegzy Ok. Well if I turn it like that and set the settings like this and then press the gree…
Student No that won’t work
stegzy Well ok. Tell you what. You do it your way then.
Student I shall
Photocopier still spits out unusable copies
stegzy Tell you what. Humour me. **Sets up how it should be presses button**
Photocopier spits out usable copy
Student Oh right. Well can I have a refund for all these unusable copies?
stegzy No.

EDITED TO ADD Look at this post from 2006. Same day as today. Serandipity? National You’re Doing it Wrong day?

Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists where I am more than qualified enough to talk confidently about absolute shite and bollocks.

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