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Crewe What would I doWhen I arrive at Crewe?Sit and watch as youStruggle with your bagAnd Light up a fag?What would I do?At platform twoOn the train at Crewe?I’d probably do nothing Winsford Winsford ahoy!Winsford a joy!Winsford platform 2Just in from CreweIn Liverpool I’m dueIn an hour. Hartford I’ve never been…
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In case you have no idea what it is that I do, basically it’s this….I assess assessments for students doing IT qualifications. The current assessment I am assessing is report written by the students on installing a new hard drive. Bloopers include: “To install the hard drive first open the cassis” – Because you need…
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my first week (in my new job) sitting learningmarking yearningfor retirement Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
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Car Washing by Stegzy Gnomepants Fill the bucket From the tap Grab the sponge Give the chamois a rap Get out a rag And the shampoo Cos’ washing the car Is what we do Sponge off the dirt And rub the bumper Polish the wheel trims Don’t wet your jumper! Go get the vacuum Cleaner…
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The Duckbill Platypus by Stegzy Gnomepants What a curious sight you are Weird and out by far Under the antipodean sky Oh duckbilled platypi You’re quite bizarre to look at If you wore a hat On your duckbill snout If you ever went out With brown fur and ear You’re quite peculiar and queer But…
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Prostate Cancer I’d rather be a dancer Than have prostate cancer Which doesn’t sound pleasant At all Your bits inside rotting The doctor just spotting The discharge and pain In your smalls It kills many men yearly But typically nearly Few of them went to The doctors So mums get your son To get a…
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The Tardis I wish I had a Tardis So I could travel back To the distant past and see The first railway track I wish I could travel through space In a box of blue and white I’d visit Rome and travel home Or go and fly a kite I wish I had a time…
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The other day I took Zoe to the local Hobbycraft so she could choose a delicious and chewy glue gun for her Easter present. Nom. It was while we were wandering around the aisles that I was reminded about materialism and the satisfaction of surrounding ourselves with useless tat. One of the aisle displays…
The Compostual Existentialist 