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1. Become completely inept at operating or using computers 2. Lose all social skills 3. Be rude and vacuous 4. Think only of yourself 5. Remember everyone else only exists when you can see/hear them 6. Spending £5 on a carrot is preferable to spending 30p on a carrot, even if there are no discernible…
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Day 06 – Your day I was awoken this morning by one of the curvy servant twins performing fellatio on me as usual. Her twin brought me breakfast on a golden trolley which was laden with delicious bacon dishes including sandwiches, full English breakfasts and bacon cereal with bacon milk. After taking a cooling and…
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Day Four – What you ate today If I was any normal person no doubt I would have started the day with a cup of tea and a bowl of Cinnamon Grahams. I would probably have had ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch and a chicken and chorizo ready meal with potato waffle and pea…
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Day 03 – Your parents There are a couple of elderly but spriteful pensioners about 2 hours drive away from me. Both very generous, caring and accepting yet often overly suspicious of others. These same pensioners will think nothing of driving a 40 mile round trip to get yogurts, throwing out perfectly usable objects because…
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There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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> Further to my last entry here I have managed to obtain a short contract of work. Hurrah! You might say. You might even assume that I am pleased. However, I’m not. Four years ago I moved from Liverpool to Yorkshire. It was a necessary move and it held the prospect of stabilizing my…
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Skills Excellent at taking the blame for stuff with having over 30 years of experience in being blamed for all manner of misfortunes from the loss of data from floppy disks to the breakdown of marriage. Have a good golf swing. Never played golf on a proper course but have been shown the correct stance…
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So, I stood there. Rolled up ciggie in my gob. Overalls on. Smeared engine dirt on my face and looked at the car. I tutted. Opened the car. Sat in. Tried to start engine. No joy. Exhaled smoke into car. Tried to start engine. No joy. Sucked air through teeth. Sighed. Popped bonnet. Looked at…
