• There really is nothing that is as satisfying as a really good poo.
  • It amazes me that some people do not know the correct way to pass scissors.
  • I am baffled by the concept of headphone discos.
  • People who are in a rush should wear a sign on their head saying "I AM IN A RUSH" rather than snap at people who are just trying to do their job.
  • Like wise, people who are in a bad mood should be legally obliged to state that they are in a bad mood. Anyone dealing with the person in a bad mood should be legally obliged to refuse to deal with the moody bastards until they have calmed down or be able to pass them on to a specially trained moody bastard customer service person who will take it up the arse from the moody bastards without contracting moody bastarditus themselves.
  • Lately I can’t stop weeing (as in I have to go to the toilet every 30 minutes). I hope it isn’t prostate problems……..

Student How do I photocopy?
Stegzy Well you need to buy a photocopy card they come in two sizes; 80 pence and £2.
Student Can I have an 80 pence one please?
Stegzy Sure
Student How much are they?
stegzy er….80p.