Where was I? 

Oh yes, I wasn’t pregnant. I wasn’t glowing in the dark. Instead I had developed super human ability to use search engines (these days Startpage.com, really good privacy focused search engine that, until recently, was supported by Waterfox browser — now using 1.org as a charitable search engine instead) and watch doctors on Youtube telling me about the curiosities and morbidities of the kidneys.

Did you know, even if you are not outwardly overweight, exercise and eat relatively healthily you could be damaging your kidneys and not know it until its too late? Contrary to popular belief, your kidneys don’t usually express issues with pain unless its at a point of “better do something about this right this second” urgency. Often people don’t find out they have a problem with their kidneys unless they happen to have the correct blood tests, have a good GP and/or have some other illness relating to the kidneys. 

This was Quincy’s problem. He was a healthy, happy cat who one day presented himself to us with a weird list in his neck. A trip to the vets followed and, of course, a blood test — which revealed a rare feline disorder with his adrenal glands — similar to something equally rare in humans known as Conn’s Disease or Primary aldosteronism. 

Aldosteronism is where the adrenal glands produce an excess of the hormone aldosterone which reduces renin which, in turn, takes part in the renin-angiotensin-aldosterone system — a complex bit of endocrinology involving the kidneys and the regulation of potassium and sodium levels which, again in turn, regulates your blood pressure amongst other things. Its all very complex but essentially, if you’ve got Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver disease and diabetes, likelihood is you’re not processing your hormones efficiently and your body is just creating fat which in turn prevents the liver, kidneys and other glands from functioning correctly. Worse yet, anecdotally it can also be exacerbated by lack of testosterone in men — especially in the andropause (though that bit might have been a bit mumbo-jumbo, even so, I’m now taking these on a daily basis and I’m feeling a lot more like a young man again…). 

Reduced renin is not a good thing. Bad things happen. Most notably persistently high blood pressure that drugs don’t seem to fix (check), muscular weakness, cramps and spasms (check — In recent years I have been getting REALLY bad leg cramps), excessive urination (check — oh boy…I’ve been to the toilet more times in the past few years than I have in the past 49 years (I’m 52)), headaches (check — meh, but who doesn’t) and, the icing on the cake HYPOKALEMIA. Better yet, primary aldosteronism can lead to SECONDARY aldosteronism which is basically, furring of the renal arteries which is BAD (though not preventable via stents).

It’s all very scary shit. 

Anyway, I said to my GP about Quincy and about primary aldosteonism and about all the similarities between me, my cat and my life health history with an added sprinkling of an anecodote about the sketch of my kidneys on my hospital notes and how my grandmother died of fucked kidneys in her 80’s — due to too many blood pressure tablets!

The look on her face. It was priceless. It wasnt shock. It was more realisation that I was probably right — I should get tested for it to rule it out if anything. So she wrote off to endocrinology who, this weekend, wrote back to her and in effect called me in for a test. A test which involves me ceasing my beta blocker  and, I imagine, my ACE inhibitor — Ramipril — for 28 days before my test which will check my renin-aldosterone ratio, which this handy leaflet will tell you all about if you’re interested.

She also wrote off about a sleep apnea study thing as recommended by the hospital who noticed that during my stay my blood oxygen would drop when I went to sleep. Awesome. 

So yeah, I’m feeling much better now. I’m trying to eat a lot more healthily, plenty of greens, one banana a day minimum, plenty of good kidney foods, drinking plenty of water — no fizzy drinks, one-two coffees a day, two-three cups of tea a day and I don’t really drink alcohol these days anyway. I’m eating lots of fibre. Lots of it and, of course, taking testosterone production assisting homeopathic remedies which is making me feel much better too.   

But don’t be complacent. This could happen to you too. You too should look after your kidneys because they’re too busy filtering the various things from your blood and regulating your blood pressure and stuff to warn you that something is wrong with something as trivial as pain — no, it will tell you, like most things, in coded blood messages which you need to get interpreted by a qualified practitioner. So it might not be prostate related, diabetes related or hypochondria. It might actually be your kidneys sending messages….