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For the first time in what seems like for ever I don’t actually have anything to do. Lately I’ve been feeling guilty about sitting at the computer and writing things because surely there are other things for me to be doing? Like fixing up the house, selling the Mondeo or getting the Vectra MOT’d and
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Using the little known dark art of Chocolatomancy and the mystical power of a AAA battery I have been bestowed with all the knowledge for the year ahead. Behold Stegzy Gnomepants’ 2008 Predictions.
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The more eagle eyed of you will probably remember that 2007 was to be a potato free year for me. The start of the year was good. Avoiding potatoes was initially easier than I thought. Probably because my main source of potato was crisps. Finding a maize based substitute was easy. My thanks and eternal
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Look. It’s fucking freezing ok? Yeah yeah ok robynz and maybe zelest and think4yrself probably would think that -2 was the height of summer but no…..not here….-2 is like fucking Arctic. There’s Eskimos Innuit trying to hunt fucking fish through ice holes in the back garden. Trying to tell them a) that there are no
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Day 3. The cold is unabating. Feet and hands have turned blue. Oates, the blasted fool, his fingers blackened with frostbite asked if we wanted anything from the Brierley Village stores then left the house. His parting remarks “I am just going to get some fags and may be some time” chill us further to
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Even with the doors closed and the windows shut there is still a draught causing an “unquiet chill” upon my bones. Filming tomorrow. Mrs Gnomepants takes the stage.
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1. I got a first for my Politics essay. 2. I have now finished 80% of my assignments. 3. I still have a 4 minute documentary and a 5 minute news bulletin to do. 4. It’s my birthday on Monday. 5. I finished at Pontefract NEW College for the third time today. 6. I did
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As inspired by these (though admittedly not as good) ( Number 2 – Jingle Bells ) Cor! You can’t half go fast through this slushOn this 16 valve V8 sledI hope you’ve asked permission to go over this arable landThink it’s funny do you?Best not make too much noise with them bells eitherYou’ll get us served with
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As inspired by these (though admittedly not as good)
The Compostual Existentialist 